


A Cold Darkness

by nauticalSorcerer



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:52:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4450094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nauticalSorcerer/pseuds/nauticalSorcerer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Meme-Prompt fills for the following meme, "Send ╳ for my muse dying in your muse’s arms." </p>
<p>Each "chapter" is a separate fill, all written from Levi's perspective.<br/>See individual "chapter" notes for details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eren {Fill 01}

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by: Eren  
> Warnings: Character Death, Blood, Gore, Emetophobia (Vomit)

      To say he hadn’t seen this coming would be an absolute  _lie_. Eren had been working himself harder and harder, trying to make himself what he needed to be  _for them_.

   He watched as Eren climbed out of his titan form, arms folded across his chest, a sick feeling creeping into his stomach as he watched him. The feeling of something being  _wrong_. After all this time, he still had to observe, though it had become less for worry the kid would lose his mind than making sure neither Hange nor himself allowed him to be pushed too far. He’d made them wait a bit, get water and rest. Had to go away for a bit to tend to something away from them, and apparently without him the decision had been made to continue.

   He’d seen the flash of his transformation and hurried back, but now, looking at him, he knew it was too late. The sluggish movement of Eren’s body, the slope to his shoulders. Blood trickled down his nose slowly, increasing as the younger man’s body starts to droop.

   Two strides forward and he catches the other before he falls.

   Rewarded with a cascade of warm down his back, over his shoulder, he heard Hange exclaim something about  _blood_  as Eren broke into a coughing fit, gagging and struggling to breathe. No thought given to the state of his dress, he lowered both Eren and himself to the ground, having little difficulty with his subordinate’s mostly-limp form. “Shh,” he soothed gently, hand at his back as the other continued to struggle, and it took him far too long to find his breath again. A snap at Hange to get someone,  _anyone_ , as if it would help. It wouldn’t. They both knew it. They all knew it. But still the other would bolt off, back toward civilisation.

   He felt Eren’s hands weakly grapple at his back, felt his body lurch again as he coughed. More blood, dripping down his chin and pouring from his nose. There was steam coming from his mouth as his body tried to heal itself. He tightened his arms on the younger, bowing his head a bit as a sob choked its way out of Eren’s abused throat. Another quiet hush as he smoothed his hand over the brunet’s back, not quite sure how otherwise to try and ease his suffering. He was in pain, Levi could feel it. The way his muscles spasmed under his hands, the intense quaking of his body. He could hardly fathom it–and it was only growing worse.

   “You did well, Eren,” he spoke suddenly, following another coughing fit. There had to be a sizable pool red behind him now, staining and sinking into the grass. He brought his hand up from the younger’s back, resting it against his crown, the other hooking gently around his waist. Eren’s grip on his back was growing weaker, each time it tightened it was with less strength. “Everything you’ve done has mattered. So much of what we’ve won is because of you.” He heard the other cough quietly, and felt a bit more of his weight lean into him. The older man wasn’t sure if he was still with him or not, but he continued on, head bowed forward slightly as he breathed his own sigh, “I’m sorry this is such a shitty outcome.”


	2. Erwin {Fill 01}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by: Erwin  
> Warnings: Character Death, Blood, Gore

      Would Erwin feel remorse for sending Levi off to help another squad take care of an abnormal? By the time he was sent to assist, they’d already seen three lines of black streak across the sky. It was tearing through them, or they had seen too many. No one would know until they went to look. But by the time Levi arrived, it was to see one of their veterans tear through the neck and the body to finally fall in a heap. They’d only seen the one, so he was told. But could one single abnormal really tear through three ranks without being killed by  _someone_? What were they dealing with?

   Black smoke from the way he had come. He turned his horse without thinking. His order had not been to stay, simply assist. He had no obligation to stay here. None of this squad was injured, and the others were dead or would be found by the group behind them. It couldn’t just be the one.

    _It couldn’t just be the one._

   Two squads over. He’d passed two squads to get here. Tearing past them a second time, he asked his horse for forgiveness she rasped in heavy breaths. Almost…

   Breaking through the sparse tree-line, he felt his heart lurch into his throat as his horse abruptly lurched, jerking to the side, throwing him from the saddle. He landed hard on his shoulder, rolling several times before his back hit the base of a tree, wind knocked from his lungs. Pain in his back and shoulder dulled to a throb, he was coughing, struggling to move– _faster, **now**_ –as adrenaline surged into his veins. Rapid heart beating, there were shouts nearby. The trees here weren’t thick or tall or strong enough to make proper use of. A few nearby had been outright uprooted. They were new, only a few years old.

   Shouting. Yelling. He struggled to his feet, movement in the distance. His gear seemed fine, he barely gave it more than a glance before running forward–bodies on the ground, he nearly tripped over one of them before a massive form stumbled into view. Something in its hand, Levi reacted before he realised what it was. Still moving, he knew that much, and that meant that it was alive. They were alive, for now.

   Blood and steam, searing his skin. He barely registered the hooks sinking into flesh, just acted as soon as he felt the jerk at his waist. The arm hit the ground, but Levi didn’t stop. He sliced through the neck of the first titan, and then the second, tearing up the arm of the third before falling to the ground with it, blades snapping as he sliced clean through the neck and the bones within, barely sharp enough to make the cut.

   He’s angry, but his thoughts turn to the others, the ones he’d left behind, and eyes fall to the body. In the moment, his fiery blood turns to ice, and staggering feet carry him to that spot. Blond hair, blood on his shirt. Knees hit the dirt, and he looked at the other’s legs. What had once been his legs. Severed partway up the thigh. Erwin was pale, shaking. He’d lost a lot of blood. How long had it been? He’d lost so much blood since he’d hit the ground. It wasn’t supposed to end like this. Damn it. Levi’s hands scrambled for his belts, maybe he could–

   But something stopped him, a weak noise. Attention focused on the Commander, immediately. Maybe out of habit, maybe not, he grasped the hand raised toward him, clasping it tightly. His jaw clenched tightly, he forced deep breaths into his lungs, away the sharp needles in his eyes as they tried to well. He would not cry. He would not break down. The strength of the hand in his own was barely there. He leaned closer as the other spoke, until his ear was near his mouth and he could hear the wisps of words. His last orders.

   There was more damage there than to his legs, it was in his voice. Broken bones, no doubt, probably worse. If he had gotten here sooner, perhaps he could have helped stop the bleeding. They had enough belts between them, but even then… the arteries in his legs, those were definitely severed. Eyes closed, brows furrowed, he slowly lifted to sit hunched over him, head remaining bowed and he didn’t realise he was squeezing the other’s hand a great deal tighter, that his jaw was painfully clenched, until long after it had gone limp and he’d lost the fight with the dampness in his eyes.


	3. Erwin {Fill 02}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by: Erwin  
> Warnings: Character Death, Blood, Gore

      _It was like watching a flower._

   Tight panic in his chest as he watched the others pull Erwin from the cart, unconscious. Raw flesh and muscle, bone exposed from the end of his sleeve where only a belt held compressing the wound. Red streaked up his sleeve from it, tattered. The slice was clean, not torn. He’d severed it himself.

   Was he afraid? The question posed itself in his mind. Afraid of losing Erwin? They held no significance to each other, not truly. The man was his Commander. He followed him loyally, but they were hardly more than that. Friends, perhaps at best. But they’d known each other for a long while. Long before these kids came in. Anyone who had survived this long in the Corps forged bonds with their comrades stronger than anything. He trusted Erwin, wholly, if even he did not agree with him on every point. If even he reminded him on occasion that the lives which he held in his hands belonged to humans. They trusted him to lead them through, not sacrifice them like pawns in a game of chess.

   But watching them carry him off now, the question settled heavy on him. 

   Was he afraid of Erwin’s death?

   Perhaps. An inevitable eventuality. He was prepared for it. 

   Right?

    _A lily, standing tall, stem clipped from the earth and placed aside. Withering._

   When first he was allowed into the room, it seemed normal. It seemed fine. Erwin was resting, a bandage on the blunted bicep. The man was strong, he was not concerned. He was pale, but there was nothing of concern. Levi sat with him a while, quiet. His injured leg throbbed on occasion, but the wound had been healing with time. 

   He maintained the room the best he could without aggravating his leg. Cleaned, opened the windows during the day. Occasionally plucked flowers from the grass and placed them in a small vase to keep the room from looking as grim as it felt.

   Communicated with Eren and the others. 

   Erwin was unconscious for some time. He had lost a lot of blood. Levi thought little of it. But he was pale, lethargic. There were dark circles under his eyes. 

   They removed him to change the bandages. He heard their whispering, but it was too jumbled to understand. The tone was enough. He denied it. Erwin was strong. He would pull through.

   Levi found a blend of tea leaves to help with the immune system.

   But there was nothing to do now. Fever, chills. he sat in quiet resignation as the Commander tossed and turned, quickened breaths. Harsh clenches in his chest at each ragged exhale. He could do nothing now but watch, change the damp cloth against his forehead. Speak to him in moments of clarity, listen to his delirious rambling. 

   Wait. Watch. 

   As the infection claws, ravages through him.

    _The last flowers he’d brought had browned, petals hanging by their final leg._

   One night, on a whim, he would seat himself on the edge of the mattress as he wiped away the sweat on Erwin’s brow. He brushes back blond hair to place the cool cloth against his forehead, starts when a hand touches his. Blue and grey meet for a moment as Levi looks at him, and without a word he pushes the pillow aside, sliding up a bit further to let Erwin’s head rest against his thigh instead. He feels the pain in his grip, lets Erwin take his hand as his body trembles. Involuntary. 

   Fingers comb slowly through his hair, he listens to the laboured breathing as the blond’s eyes close again. 

   He listens to it gradually slow, rests his head back against the heavy wooden frame, tips his chin down to watch over him. The rise and fall of his chest beneath the thin sheet.

   Watches it stop in a steady exhale.

    _Across the room, a petal falls to the table. The last of the wilted wildflowers hangs low and dead, devoid of strength and beauty._

   Was he  _afraid_ of Erwin’s death?

   No. 

   But he wasn’t prepared for it.


	4. Erwin {Fill 03}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by: Erwin  
> Warnings: Character Death, Blood, Gore

     It was over.

   As far as anyone was concerned, the true threat had ended. Down below, there were celebrations. 

   Right now, Eren, Mikasa, Armin. Hange and the others. They were probably opening the door to the Jaeger basement right now.

   Levi took in a deep breath, or as deep as he could before his lungs refused to expand. Lung.

   The sky was streaked with red and gold, sun burning on the distant horizon. Levi had long since stopped noticing the wood digging into his spine. The cannon was the only thing keeping him upright.

   A heavy weight adjusted itself against his chest, he glanced down at the thirteenth Commander of the Survey Corps. Eyes barely open, breathing short and quick, painful. He couldn’t tell if there was something he wanted to say and simply couldn’t, or if he had reached the same quiet acceptance his captain had. Levi had hauled them both up here, after everything. He’d used what gas, what strength he had left to bring him to the top of the wall. To look out over land they hadn’t seen in so long. 

   For the last time.

   The gaze of his remaining eye softened and he breathed a long sigh, turning away from the other man. It hurt to see him in such a state. There was blood seeping through his clothes, pooling underneath them. Erwin couldn’t move from his waist down, and Levi. It had been a chore getting him up here with one functioning arm and leg. He swallowed past the thick tang of blood in his throat, swiped away the red that had been sweeping over the blond’s face, and he placed his hand over Erwin’s, over the gaping wound in the elder’s chest. 

   “…Watch the sunrise with me, Erwin.”

   The first dawn of their freedom.


	5. Nile {Fill 01}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompted by: Nile  
> Warnings: Character Death, Blood, Gore
> 
> Contains Nile/Levi.

      The first time they met, it was across a dirty street in the darkness of the world, deep below Mitras. A recruit to the Military Police and a  _thug_  with  _no future_. Fingers curled around the handle of a blade as steel eyes burned through brown. Neither moved, neither blinked, frozen and waiting for the other to act first, until a body passed between them. A call from a superior, a glance away. The younger disappeared, melded into the crowd before he could be pursued.

   The second time, he’s not sure if it’s an accident. The man turns up at a bar, military dress not in sight. He’s not sure if he recognises him from before (it’s been at least a week now, hasn’t it?). Somehow, they talk. It starts with a game of cards (he cheats the man out of some good money). He learns his name is Nile. They don’t talk about his job–it’s not safe, not here, if even he knows the Police make use of their brothels and their alcohol–or his family. He doesn’t know why he’s talking, he’s barely offering anything from his side. He doesn’t want to know him, but he doesn’t want to stop.

   Levi drinks him under the table. He considers leaving him there when he blacks out and falls to the floor, but he doesn’t. He carries him to the surface. Leaves him in the patrol route of some Military Police and waits until they find him, help him stagger off to safety. He almost doesn’t give the money back; let them think he was robbed and not drinking with some poor bastard rat in the underground. Levi has to eat, too. But he spared some. Far less than half, but he had earned enough to feed himself for several days. He could spare it.

   The third time, he was as a wounded animal. A belt snapped, no escape. Cornered, bleeding, knife in hand. Muscles taut as a bowstring, ready to strike. No fear, no resignation. This man would die before he gave in. The green unicorn loomed, but didn’t approach. There’s no call to alert the others. They’d caught each other, here and there, in the past; little more than looks and glances, never like this. The police above had been sending men to try and hunt him. Thethug disrupting their peace in the Underground–what  _peace_ , there was no  _peace_  here–with little avail. He was faster than them, with his gear. Better at manoeuvring. This, it was unfortunate. Wear. Landing hard, separated. This one had found him, but he wasn’t telling the others. Why? A hand moved, the smaller man’s shot up, blade ready. The other raised his in submission until he relaxed.

   A satchel tossed to his feet, after allowing the other to act. He frowned, kept his blade raised and his stance firm, slowly crouched down to snatch it up without taking his eyes off of the other. He flipped the leather aside, spared a glance down. Within, a tangle of belts: a set of gear. Why? He was risking his place in the military, giving him something like this. No words exchanged, he watches Nile leave.

   Four, five, six more times they meet, much like their second. He’s not sure what to think of his persistence, whether it’s chance or not. He keeps Nile from drinking too much again, doens’t cheat him out of his money quite as much. Pretends not to notice the amused looks from Isabel and Farlan. Like his eyes aren’t sweeping over the crowd for any reason in particular. There’s no schedule, only chance.

   The seventh time, he walks back with him. He’s had too much to drink this time, he’s leaning more weight on him than usual. When he stumbles, Levi can’t recover quickly enough, and they haphazardly tumble into a stone wall, jutting shoulders and elbows earning bruises as the two collide. There’s light from the moon filtering down the stairs leading up to the exit. It clashes with the torches keeping the streets bright.

   He’s not sure how it happens. One moment he’s stepping away from the wall to continue leading Nile back toward the surface, and the next he’s got hands on his shoulders and the thick stench of alcohol in his nose. There’s a mouth on his, and he’s… surprisingly not repulsed by it. He lets them meld together for a moment, despite the harsh taste of the other’s intoxication, until his hands finally rest on Nile’s shoulders. They move to his chest, intending to push gently as he turned his head away. But something catches his fingers, and when he turns it glints in the light. A thin, golden, round band on a rope string. Far too nice to be an heirloom. A flood of ice, and then fire as his chest tightens. Stupid.

   Levi brings Nile to the surface, and doesn’t look back when he leaves him there.

   He knows Nile looks for him, but it’s easy to disappear in a place with no sun.

   They don’t see each other again, not until some time after the world has weathered Levi’s heart and bound it in steel. He’s introduced to him by Erwin,  _Captain Levi_ , and the two simply stare at each other. Greet curtly. There’s sadness there, in his eyes, and more when they turn away to attend to other duties.

   Glances, looks, that’s all they can spare each other. Always just missing, never quite catching. If others see, they don’t speak. Because there can be nothing there.

   Last they meet, Nile’s the one who bleeds.

   Chaos. Everything jumbles together. He knows the plan, Erwin always has a plan. But even _with_  his plan there were always casualties. Expected, unexpected. He’s not sure how it happened. Nothing went wrong, not in the way of failure. But too many were injured. Areinjured. He sees them in the streets, doesn’t stop until a particularly familiar face catches his eye. He lands without hesitating.

   Levi finds him there, against the wall. Blood is pooled around him, half of one leg several paces away, a piece of his left shoulder completely removed. People are shouting, he hears more than sees them overhead as he crouches down to the older man’s side. Eyes meet his as Levi’s hand brushes his cheek, surprisingly gentle in how he cradles his face. He knows the ache in his chest, the sharp clenching with each beat as the ice settles into the tips of his fingers. They both know there’s nothing that can be done. There’s no way to stop the bleeding from his shoulder, and Nile had already tied off the one on his leg. He gave himself minutes, little more.

   There’s pain in the Commander’s expression, damp running down his cheeks. The Captain thinks it’s purely of his pain until a hand touches his crown and pulls him down, and Levi breaks as his forehead touches Nile’s.


End file.
